By Lisa Moor
Lao Tzu is quoted as saying, “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” Common sense. So simple to understand yet so difficult to live out. A primary reason why change is difficult has to do with the fear over what awaits you on the other side of change.
Change is a process
Change and you’re suddenly no longer living a routine. You’re no longer certain about the new people you may meet. You might even become concerned about how the people will perceive, receive and treat you. If you get too trapped in fear, you’ll forget that the experiences you’re enjoying right now once resided in the “unknown”.
Fact is, unless you plan on spending the rest of your life in a hospital maternity ward, you’re going to have to change. If you plan on enjoying a harvest of rewarding experiences, you’re going to have to keep changing. You simply cannot stay where you are if you want to advance.
When faced with a decision you’re on the fence about, a decision fear is clouding your vision and thinking over, sit down and list the advantages and disadvantages of staying where you are versus making a decision that places you in the realm of the unknown. Also, ask yourself what causes you to feel fear when you think about staying where you are as well as when you think about going in a different direction.
List these fear-based thoughts on a sheet of paper or you can type them on a computer screen. Look at and pay attention to what surfaces. Next, ask yourself how you’ll feel a year from now if you stay exactly where you are. Also, ask yourself how you’ll feel if you accept change. List your answers as well as financial, time, etc. pluses and minuses connected with each decision.
Be honest. After all, you’re already thinking and feeling your answers at the subconscious level. You’re not inventing something. You’re just allowing what’s already there to surface or reveal itself. If you don’t receive an answer or guidance to your question “should I stay or should I go?” step away. Go do something (i.e. housework, pay bills, go for a walk, ride a bike). It might take a few days, but somehow you’ll know what to do.
What you probably won’t have is a guarantee that whichever decision you make, you’ll always feel peace and happiness. Life is full of decisions, choices and experiences. We make them all the time, all day long. It’s just that we rarely notice it. Each decision we make causes us to feel emotion, as each decision produces fruit or a response. Be smart. Get clear about what you want. Be willing to continue to change and enter the unknown. It’s how you get from where you are to where you want to be.
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