For years, I had this nagging thought that I had somehow, in hidden ways, given my power to others. It may have been a carryover from childhood, the time in life when we look up to our parents, seeing them as giants, larger than anything else in the world.
Are you holding yourself back?
It took decades of introspection to recognize what I was doing. Although I was no longer a child, I continued to see others as being more powerful than I was. A manager at work, a pastor, a teacher, a politician, a coach, a professional athlete, a celebrated entertainer . . . the list went on. In my perception, these people had something that I lacked.
They knew how to pull the threads of events in the world together until they came out on top. Me. I just knew how to keep trying. I was really good at not giving up. But, I’d not once grabbed the brass ring. Instead, I always finished a tad above the middle.
Hidden thoughts, hidden beliefs that I had created, were holding me hostage. Why did I feel safer buried in the middle of the pack? What was this belief preventing me from doing? Could this belief hold me hostage long or effectively enough to keep me from fulfilling my destiny, to keep me from doing what I came into the world to do?
It’s time to wake up and let the illusion go
The answer began to reveal itself during the 2016 election. I saw that I was waiting for someone else to make decisions that would greatly impact my physical experience. I felt that I had absolutely no power to inject myself into those decisions. I just had to wait and see what another person decided would happen to me indirectly.
Fortunately, something in me was tired of walking that path, and my eyes started to open. There are no special people. No one has inner access to anything that everyone doesn’t have inner access to. We have different interests, but we all have access to the same good.
My response to the awakening is to let my voice be heard at local and national levels. My response has also been to finally accept that I can take giant steps forward. I really can advance in thought and in tangible ways. And I don’t have to wait for another human to green light me or give me permission to fulfill my destiny. I don’t need anyone’s signature of approval on my life.
If you’re reading this article, you could be dealing with the same thought lies. You could be practicing self-deception the same way that I was. You also might not know that you’re lying to yourself, especially if you work hard, are persistent and resilient.
Signs that you might be lying to yourself
Not quitting doesn’t mean that you’re heading in the right direction. Don’t worry. I had to learn that lesson too.
Whether you’re starting a business, struggling to believe that you can start a business or doubt that you can actually grow your business into a profitable enterprise, it’s time to spot thoughts of self-deception. It’s time to find out if you’ve been lying to yourself for weeks, months, years – decades.
Signs that you might be lying to yourself include:
• A nagging feeling that you are living small
• Feeling that there is something over your head, the same way you’d feel if you were in a box with a lid on it
• Believing that another person or other people have more power over your life than you do
• Talking yourself out of doing things that will get you noticed
• This unexplainable feeling that you are going in a circle
• Curiosity as to why someone else is succeeding and you’re not – this curiosity isn’t jealousy, it’s an open pondering as to what is causing this
• A sense that you should be doing and achieving a lot more than you are
Don’t put the brakes on self-awareness and awakening
To avoid exploring the issue of self-deception more, you might:
• Become exceptionally busy (just work, work, work)
• Develop a fear to focus on (e.g. you’re going to get laid off, your car is going to break down, a sickness becomes the center of your life, your partner is going to cheat on you or leave you)
• Zone in on someone else’s life and ignore your own (e.g. you try to fix an adult child, lover, colleague, friend)
• Have another child
• Get married
• Take it as your responsibility to figure out the world or life in general (this is a good way to get on a merry go-round that never stops)
Each of these steps could be a way to chew up your time and energy so you won’t explore self-deception, including the specific ways that you keep lying to yourself. You might even take on a victim role or decide to be someone’s hero.
Either of these choices will keep you busy, that’s for sure. But, if the inspiration behind these actions is fear, they will also keep you stuck. Busy stuck. Busy staying stuck. How’s that sound?
To start awakening from self-deception, read books that explore self-deception and lies that we tell ourselves that are written from a research or scientific standpoint. Meditate and practice awareness. Don’t just sit still or practice deep breathing. Recognize when you might be lying to yourself.
As a note of caution, start and end each day with a word of truth. If you have to, stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself, “I love you.” Tell yourself that you are perfectly made; the real, true you is perfectly made. Your True Self can lose nothing or be harmed. Your True Self is forever cared for, safe and blessed.
Continue to practice awareness and self-honesty. A journal is a great tool to use to track your awakening journey. You’re going to learn a lot about yourself, especially as the lies that you believed were true about you start to fall away.
It could take years. But, IT’S WORTH IT!!!!
Your false self may kick and scream and fight.
Welcome to the Great Awakening!