You’ll know you’re turning 50 if . . .

By Rebecca Davis

Turning 50 is no laughing matter. It signals the start of great change. Even if you exercise regularly, drink lots of water and maintain a healthy body weight, there will be changes. For starters, you’re bound to look in the mirror and spot even more grey hairs sitting proud and pretty atop your head. (Those things do know how to multiply fast!!) 

Music you grew up believing you couldn’t get through the day without sounds ancient now, nothing like the songs DJs play on the radio today. Your childhood experiences might even feel like they were three lifetimes ago if you’re turning 50.

You’re tired of going to home going services. But, you still can’t bring yourself to get with the times and watch a friend or relative’s funeral over streaming video.


The most you had to dread from a teacher was being paddled or sent to the principal’s office. Dodging a teacher’s sexual advances wasn’t something you worried about when you dressed for school.

As a kid, “late” to you was midnight, the same time television stations went off around the country. An antenna was your best friend, even if you had to wrap its top with aluminum foil and stand next to it to keep the picture on the screen from going all fuzzy.

By the time you’d graduated from high school, you hadn’t even met 10 classmates whose parents were divorced or separated. You even walked around thinking your future marriage would last forever. (Boy were you in for a surprise!)

You watched Sesame Street so often as a kid, you thought it was a required academic program. Even now, you can name at least three of the show’s major characters.

If you’re turning 50, you don’t head outside until you finish cleaning your house. It’s a layover from how your parents wouldn’t let you go outside and play until you finished your chores as a kid.

Computers are fun, but you’re still trying to figure out all the social media lingo. In fact, every now and then you still catch yourself saying things like “that’s cool,” “take it easy,” “in your face,” “be there or be square” or “fake me out”.

You absolutely love it that your mom and dad are as old as your great-grandparents (people you actually might have found boring) were when you were a kid! As someone who’s turning 50, nothing could be better!

The thought of working 90 hours a week for anybody for any reason sounds more and more absurd! Sitting on the front porch (chilling, of course) and sipping on a glass of iced tea doesn’t sound so bad anymore either.

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